I'M PISSED OFF

OK I've been pissed off for months, probably for years... but I numb it and once in a wild I get this MADDD AND I BLEW UP (MENTALLY) EVERYTHING!!! sometimes I blame her, and him, and you, and everyone, but I know I should just be blaming me... oh I wished I could just call you as everything was as before... it's not like I don't have anyone else to call, I do, but I wanted to call you... tomorrow I'll be fine again...I always find a way to numb it... and tell myself it's OK...I'M OK... but now I know it's not ok...i'm not great or fine...it's not ok...it's not ok... so fuck ya very much!